Thursday, April 9, 2009
Act like you just met your friend for the first time
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Adopt strange mannerisms
Alphabetize the food in your fridge
Announce your candidacy for President.
Annoy total strangers
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Ask a question nobody can answer
Ask embarrassing questions
Ask for seconds
Ask people how to pronounce their name
Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
Ask people if they’ve seen your head
Ask stupid questions.
Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
At the bottom of escalators yell “MY SHOELACE!”
Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
Baby oil the floor
Backstroke your way to class
Bake the world’s biggest doughnut hole
Balance a pencil on your nose
Balance a pillow on your head
Balance your checkbook
Bark at people in the grocery store
Bark at your dog
Bark at your parents
Be a leaf and leave
Be a loan shark
Be a lone shark
Be a monk...for a day
Be a no-name
Be a non-being
Be a REALLY cautious driver
Be a side affect.
Be a smart blonde
Be a spy
Be a square root.
Be a superstar
Be in the wrong place at the right time.
Be lord of the flies
Be one of those people that yell “SHH!” (Even though they ADD to the noise)
Be really annoying to everybody
Be somebody else
Be someone special
Be stupid for a day
Be thankful for clocks
Be unique, just like everyone else
Beam yourself up
Become a band nerd
Become a go-to kinda man
Become a hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!)
Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera
Become a party animal
Become a tic-tac addict
Become an expert on something nobody cares about
Behold the truth
Bite every other nail
Bite your pinkie
Blast hip-hop music through town
Blink a lot
Blow bubbles with bubble gum
Blow on a beer bottle
Blow on a blade of grass
Blow spit bubbles
Blow up a balloon until it pops
Boil ice cream
Boldly go where no man has gone before
Bother a sibling, profusely
Bounce a potato
Braid your dog's hair
Break into a friend's house and clean it
Break some rules
Bring a Furby to school
Bring dog treats to the park and meet 25 new dogs
Bronze your sister
Brush your teeth
Buff your cat
Build a house out of toothpicks
Build a house with ice cubes
Build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles
Build a pyramid
Build a tree house in the middle of a field
Burp the Happy Birthday song
Bury your father’s car
Buy something from an infomercial
Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers.
Call an insurance company and try to insure your stuffed animal.
Call toll free numbers and make friends with the operators
Call yourself an Indian giver
Calmly have a nervous breakdown
Can you out-shame these people?
Carpet your ceiling
Carry a briefcase with you and offer people phony legal advice
Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
Carve your boyfriend\girlfriend\crushes’ initials in a marshmallow
Catch a cold
Catch a falling star
Challenge the neighbor kid to duel
Change your hand writing style
Change your mind
Change your name...daily
Chase your friend or family member around the sofa
Check out the weather forecast for other parts of the world.
Check under chairs for chewing gum
Check your email from a DOS command prompt
Chew on a lollipop stick
Chew on pen caps
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
Chew your lip
Churn some butter.
Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit
Clean and polish your belly button
Clean your room (*gasp*)
Climb the walls
Collect hotel keys
Complain about your nose hurting
Conceive a brand new language.
Confess to a crime that you didn't commit.
Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
Construct a shrine for the queen of the spud peoples
Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters
Convert various currencies to other various currencies here
Count all the stars in the sky
Count to a 100,000
Count your teeth with your tongue
Crack your knuckles
Crank up some music
Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
Create random equations
Cross your toes
Crush pop cans with croquet mallets
Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet show
Cut your fingernails/toenails
Dance around your living room naked
Dance 'til you drop
Dare to be stupid
Debate politics with a pet
Declare April 6th “slap butt day” at your school and actively celebrate it
Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots
Develop a complex
Develop a tick
Dial-a-prayer and argue
Discover some cool uses for crates
Discover the answer to the ultimate question....then the question itself....
Do a cartwheel
Do a good job
Do aerobics...in your head
Do crossword puzzles
Do everything with your other hand today
Do some paperwork
Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am
Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother
Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science
Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it
Doodle or cartoon
Dot people’s i’s for them
Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
Dress in something silly and laugh at yourself
Dress like a pirate
Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother.
Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket
Drink as much prune juice as you can
Drink soda till you get wired
Drink straight shots...of water
Drop pebbles down the chimney
Drop something to see if it breaks.
Duct tape a spoon to the wall and wait for it to fall
Eat broccoli and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees
Even the score
Every time you say the word definitely, spell it out
Every time you write something today, use roman numerals for the numbers.
Exist...existentially of course.
Exorcise a ghost
Experiment with makeup
Eye witness stuff
Factor your social security number
Fake an accent
Figure out how to get yourself on TV
Find a bug and chase it
Find an address to your favorite famous person and write them a letter. See if they write you back.
Find other people who have your name
Find out your future with a Ouija board
Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes
Find some crutches and pretend to have a broken leg
Find the heat capacity of your science professor
Find the longest URL you possibly can
Find the meaning of life
Find the nearest nowhere and go there
Find typos on websites and email the webmasters to let them know.
Find your half-life
Flash your mailman
Flip upside-down and check out the Anti-Gravity Room
Flirt with people
Fluff your pillows
Fold everything you can
Follow random people
Forget to groom
Form a political party
Form a union
Format all those AOL disks you got in the mail...
Get a song stuck in your head
Get angry with yourself
Get bubblegum stuck in your hair and try to get it out
Get caught red-handed
Get on the radio
Get run over by a train of thought
Get your dog braces
Get yourself as nauseated as possible, like by spinning around and looking straight up.
Give names to your body parts
Give your cat a mohawk
Give to charity
Give yourself a new identity
Glue pages of your roommates textbooks together.
Go back to square one
Go dumpster diving
Go dumpster diving and see what you can find
Go for a bike ride
Go for a run
Go for a walk
Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
Go on random driver’s ed trips
Go shop for a really good book
Go squirrel watching
Go through the dictionary looking up really long words like discombobulated.
Go to a funeral and tell jokes
Go to a Swing dance and do the hokey-pokey
Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
Go to your local museum, and try to get kicked out
Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors
Grind your teeth
Groan, act confused when people ask if you are ok
Hail a cab and walk
Hang out in the bathroom wearing a suit and sell people things
Have a burping contest
Have a carpet picnic
Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror.
Have a water drinking contest
Have an egg toss
Have people follow you with red carpet everywhere
Help an old lady cross the street
Hire people to wait on you
Hit some hay
Hit the deck
Hold amateur wrestling matches at your local gym
Hold an ice cube as long as possible
Hold your breath
Hold your hand
Hop on one foot all day
Hop up and down
Host your own radio show from your laundry room
Hot wax the bottom of your brothers/sisters dress shoes
Hug a stranger then apologize saying you thought they were your grandma.
Hunt and peck when you type in public places
Ignore anyone who talks to you
Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
Insist everyone calls you “Your highness”
Interview a member of the opposite sex
Join a fan club
Join the debate team and agree with everyone
Juggle everything you can find
Jump up and down
Just hop up
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
Kiss and make up with yourself
Kiss your elbow, if you can.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Knit a sweater
Laugh at things that are not funny
Lay a long straight line of masking tape on the floor. Now spin around really fast then try walking on the masking tape.
Learn a new word in the dictionary
Learn insulting words in other languages
Learn random facts and share them with people
Learn to let go
Learn to peel a banana with your feet
Learn to play the kazoo
Learn to read Sanskrit
Learn to square dance
Learn to surf
Learn to throw your voice
Learn to type...with your toes
Learn to whistle 14.4/28.8 bps modem sounds
Let a helium balloon float up to your ceiling and throw things at it to pop it
Lick your hand and see the spit evaporate.
Lick your lips
Listen to a type of music that you don't normally listen to
Listen to really hard music and head bang
Load as many programs on your PC as you can in an attempt to crash your system
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, and study the after image.
Look on a soda bottle or cereal box and call the consumer information line and ask them some questions.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Rodriguez, according to the Sports Illustrated report, tested positive for Primobolan and testosterone while playing for the Texas Rangers, but does it really matter where it was or when, or for how long? Unless he or baseball, or both, can effectively counter another damaging blow, Rodriguez takes his place in the ever-expanding enhancement holding pen, a shadow cast across his career.
Unlike McGwire, Bonds and Clemens, he isn’t going away anytime soon. A-Rod will play on, the way Jason Giambi did after it was leaked that he had come clean about steroids to a federal grand jury, the way Pettitte did after telling a Congressional investigation that he had used human growth hormone. It will be fascinating to see what strategy A-Rod embraces: silence, denial, attack or a Pettitte-like confessional.
Of course, Yankee fans will forget, as much as they can for a player they seem to love only when he hits the ball 450 feet. The Yankees will forgive because given the terms of the marriage, what else can they do except hope that A-Rod’s skills don’t erode at the chronological rate more common for ballplayers before they began spiking their spinach.
Even if he doesn’t slow perceptibly as he advances deeper into his 30s, if he continues to hit home runs at the same pace, it will all lead to another shallow celebration if it is true that he wasn’t always clean, if he really was A-Fraud.You have to wonder: is that why his teammates and coaches called him that? Because they always knew he was too good to be true?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Neil Gaiman's novella Coraline made quite an impact when it appeared in 2002, sweeping up Hugo, Nebula and Bram Stoker awards in its surrealist arms. Now stop-motion virtuoso Henry Selick's cinematic adaptation has exploded the children's book into an entirely different orbit, one populated by eye-popping visuals rendered in revolutionary stereoscopic digital 3-D.
While the movie's protagonist is a brave but bored 11-year-old girl, Selick's Coraline may send children and adults alike home with dreams and nightmares they may not be able to shake. You have been warned.http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/multimedia/2009/01/pl_screen
Like Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz and even Beetlejuice before it, Coraline is an allegorical film exploring the value of mundane domestic life by injecting into it equal parts terror and whimsy.